p. 174 At a Glance-Draft Revision

When looking at my first draft after a long break, I noticed that I often assumed the reader already had background knowledge on my topic, which led me to leave out important definitions and statements that would help the reader understand my argument. I also noticed that I would give evidence to support my argument but not say where the evidence came from or elaborate on how the evidence backed up each point of my argument.
In the middle of my paper, where I defined different types of stem cells, I need to use sections to clearly separate the differences in each type of stem cell. I also need to improve my transitions within each paragraph of my paper, and include an image.
Revising my paper would help the paper flow better and make it easier for the reader to understand each specific point of my argument. All of my revisions will help connect every idea in my paper.

Christopher McKee
Research Paper Outline
March 3, 2009
Stem Cells in Treatment of Parkinson's Disease
Introduction:

1. Give my own personal experience growing up watching my father's Parkinson's disease progress, limiting his ability to work and enjoy many activities that were everyday life.
2. Give background information on stem cells and Parkinson's disease.
3. Talk about how the idea of treatment using stem cells gives not only my dad, but my entire family, hope for finding a cure for this disease.
4. Thesis: Stem cells could provide a potential cure for Parkinson's disease in a short amount of time, and with new noncontroversial forms of stem cells, we should waste no time in research and the pursuit of a better quality of life for Parkinson's patients.

1. First Body Paragraph: Parkinson's Disease

• Causes
• Symptoms
• Current treatments
• Use interview with my dad and the book by Evelyn B. Kelly

2. Second Body Paragraph: Stem Cells

• Define what stem cells are and where they are found
• Differentiate between embronic and adult stem cells, and how the use of adult, or somatic, stem cells would eliminate the controversy of stem cells.
• Discuss the past research developments that placed stem cells as a top priority for medical treatment.

3. Third Body Paragraph: Somatic Stem Cells in Treating Parkinson's Disease

• Embryonic stem cells have proved fairly successful in treating similar diseases to Parkinson's disease in mice.
• Somatic stem cells can be researched and developed to be just as useful as embryonic stem cells.
• Discuss how transplantation of stem cells into the brain can reproduce lost neurons that produce dopamine.

4. Conclusion:

• Somatic stem cells should be researched further in order to produce an effective treatment for Parkinson's disease.
• Stem cell therapy could provide the cure for Parkinson's disease.